Montgomery Legacy

Dear Diary,

My day started out very exciting, but then it took a turn for the worse. For the past couple of days, I’ve been feeling really sick and tired. I thought I just had a really bad case of the flu that seems to be going around since Beau’s wedding. But finally this morning I found out what it truly is. I’m pregnant again! I really thought Clark was to be my last child, but I feel so blessed (and surprised) to be given another baby. I cannot wait to hold him/her in my arms. I miss having a baby in the house, and pretty soon it will be the only baby in the house because Clark’s birthday is tomorrow. My kids are growing up so fast, and if it weren’t for the fact that I’m the only with a job and we need my income, I’d retire and spend all of my time with my kids. But I’m happy enough to be on maternity leave right now, and I’m not looking forward to going back to work (well maybe a little). I invited my parents over right away when I found out that I was pregnant.

They are super excited that I’m having another child. You know it’s Daddy’s dream to have 20 grandchildren. And with my new baby, Beau’s coming baby, and Bryce’s that will make 10 grandchildren…so he’s half way there! So we were celebrating the good news. Later that night after Mom and Daddy left, Oliver came home with Chase after having a father/son outing, and I surprised them both when they came in. Chase ran right to me and gave me the biggest hug of my life. He is so excited to have another little brother or sister. But Oliver…he just went right to the couch without a word, and stared off into space pretending to watch TV.

At first I thought he was just speechless at the wonderful news, so I sent Chase on up to play with Clark. I sat down next to him and asked him if he was excited about his new child. And he didn’t answer me. My heart sank. What’s wrong with him? Why wouldn’t he be excited about this? So I asked him. And what did he say? Nothing. He just got up and walked away. I’m completely confused. What did I do? Maybe he doesn’t want another child. But why? Of course my mind was racing…coming up with all these horrible thoughts. Is he cheating on me? Does he want a divorce? But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I’m overreacting. He’s never wanted a big family, and this was an unexpected surprise for us both. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me…and that he won’t love his child. Now if only my heart believed that.